Friday, June 30, 2006

Superman: Screw You, Mr. President

(Updated and Bumped)

OK, what honest red-blooded American doesn't love Superman? Always the good guy, always fighting for what's right, perpetually dedicated to helping the little guy, more or less invulnerable, and with powers we'd all love to have - minus all the personal difficulties that plague Peter Parker and the guys from Marvel comics. I mean, you don't have to love him more than Batman, or Spider Man, or Wolverine, or whomever - but you gotta have some love for Superman, right?

Well, they're making it hard.

WWTDD (which stands for 'What Would Tyler Durden Do,' and is not a site I link often), reports that the screenwriters for the new Superman movie made a conscious decision to get rid of 'Truth, Justice, and the American Way,' because, well... apparently the US doesn't really stand firmly for good anymore:

Superman is not American anymore

Mike Dougherty and Dan Harris, the two credited screenwriters for 'Superman Returns' have changed Superman’s famous motto, "Truth, Justice and the American way", to "Truth Justice and ... all that stuff". Seriously. No, really.

Dan: "I don't think 'the American way' means what it meant in 1945." Mike: "He's not just for Metropolis and not just for America." Dan: "He's an alien, from Krypton; he has come to Earth to be kind of a savior for this world, not our country . . . And he has no papers." Mike: "What would happen with the immigration laws we have now?" Dan: "I'd like to see someone kick him out!"

Yes, yes, good for you two jackasses. Aren't you just so clever. I bet Stalin and Kim Jung-il couldn't be prouder.

(I would have written more about this but I'm just so angry right now, and when I tried it was just "dirty god damn hippies" and "god I hate Hollywood so much some days" for like 8 pages. Yes, "the American way" was fine in '45 when we were fire hosing little black kids trying to go to school and women couldn't vote, but not now that we're enforcing our hundred year old immigration laws. Yeah, that makes sense. You've clearly thought this out. Was it better then, is that what you're saying? So, for the record, you're for fire hosing blacks and against protecting the US. Okay, thanks Hollywood. I knew about the second one, but I just wanted to be clear.)

First they changed the blue of the Superman costume, then we found out that in this Superman, Lois is a single mom. Next we heard that maybe, just maybe, the Man of Steel is - you know - a man's man. And now we find out that he doesn't love America anymore?

This movie is being pitched as sort-of following on after Superman II, and rejecting Superman III and IV, because those were really dreadful. Have they forgotten the last line of Superman II, when Superman says "Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I've been away so long. I won't let you down again." That didn't last long, did it?

The reviews of 'Superman Returns' seem great, so I imagine I'll see it as soon as the baby gives me a night off. But Dougherty and Harris better realize that if they tick me off anymore, I might just go see Nacho Libre.

Hat tip: the Galley Slaves.

Update: She's a Wolverine fan, but otherwise ALa's post on this is on the mark. Also, the Hollywood Reporter is now on the story as well.

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