I'm Good With a Hammer...

I'm not sure whether to laugh at this article, or be mortified at the cavalier attitude toward extra-marital affairs. I hate to use the phrase 'I'm not a prude,' but I'm not. To make my point about the article's comfort with the whole idea of affairs, I give you this excerpt:

R. Couri Hay, the society editor of Hamptons and Gotham magazines, says he has heard more and more stories of client-contractor romance stories in the last few years.

“It’s fast, sexy, hot, but it doesn’t mean a lot — it’s like sexual chocolate, like sneaking out and getting that double scoop of ice cream in the afternoon,” Mr. Hay said. He added that client-contractor affairs are relatively safe: there is no need to worry about the contractor’s car being seen in a woman’s driveway in the middle of the afternoon; it’s supposed to be in her driveway. And client-contractor love, from what he’s seen, rarely threatens marriages because when the job is over, the affair is over.

“Nobody knows,” Mr. Hay said. “The contractor isn’t going to tell because the husband is writing the check, the wife isn’t going to tell, and you get a better job because she’s providing a fringe benefit. Everybody wins.”

It's all safe, and everybody wins. Why don't more people adopt this as a business strategy when getting work done on their homes? 'And if my wife sleeps with you, what's the discount?'

The whole subject of contractors having affairs with their clients produces surreal responses. Witness this man, who split with his wife after discovering she had an affair with the contractor:

“I remember saying, ‘I’m not paying for the work,’ meanwhile I’m feeling like I want to feel his face imploding on my fist,” he said.

There was never a problem with the contractor’s work. “I seem to remember his last project was a very beautiful marble counter,” Mr. Mager said. “It was just bad form. It’s like a shrink-client, or a student-teacher relationship. It may not be jailable, but in many respects it’s similar. Contractors and women at home, it’s shooting fish in a barrel.”

Aren't there times when it's OK to resort to violence? Why 'want' to punch a guy, when you can go right ahead and punch him?

I'm glad I'm handy.

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